just made myself so ridiculously sad!
i'm lonely. like really... i want someone to love. god damn it.
i just won't make myself leave the house to meet people.
i'm in a frozen, self inflicted, broke as a joke, don't know where i'm going state of being
i guess i'm reacting to the weather too... my weekend sunburn is shivering in the new fog cloud of fall... oh fall... another fall...
i feel so gross...
ack.
why can't something work out. what's working out that i don't know about.
i know i'm still working on project figure your shit out but it's really freaking hard!
right computer silence? right?
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
lame lame lame lame lame
i have things to do but don't want to do them
what kind of psychological problem is that?
and then i didn't update current interests... the fool and i hooked up again... it was really sweet and so great... and we were talking on the phone and texting and it was still going really great... but i stopped. just stopped. i can't do it. i want to tell him i love him, that we should have babies and be together forever.
i know he loves me.
but it wouldn't work...
we're both too stupid. but i think about him everyday. all the time.
that was about a month since i last spoke to him. i kept telling myself that i'd call. then i kept telling myself i'd see him soon enough... but i haven't on either account...
what am i supposed to do?
so i pretend... like i have since i can remember... the conversations, the kisses, hand holding, snuggles, longing stares... i'll never grow up.
dreams are so much nicer than what you get... i want to find someone that wants to dream with me... the dreamy love...
